Mean Girls. If you are a woman, chances are you have either been a mean girl or been terrorized by a mean girl at one point in your life.
At our last meeting we talked about how at Urban Waxx we are not mean girls. I commented that I felt that gossip and talking about other people is a way that women bond with each other. Why? Because it is easy to establish a relationship with another woman when you have nothing at stake. So we talk about other people. “Oh, you think that Tammy is a terrible dresser? I do too! You think Lisa has a huge forehead??? So do I! Wow, we are SO much alike!” Gossip is a safe way to bond without having to reveal anything about ourselves. It’s completely superficial. And it’s pretty yucky.
When I thought about my ideal business model and the actual culture of Urban Waxx, being a salon full of nice people was at the top of my list. I have spent many years working at spas and salons where the employees were not nice to each other. It sucked. Have you ever walked into a room full of people and have them suddenly stop talking. Huh. Not a nice feeling. Have you ever been talking about someone and have them walk into the room? Also, not a nice feeling. I didn’t want that to be the case at Urban Waxx. I never wanted to feel like there was a “cool group” and that some people just weren’t in it. I never wanted a client to walk in and feel like we were just chatting about another client. I have been at other salons where the employees are talking about each other or their clients…in front of clients. Wow. That always shocks me. I wanted to be able to walk into work and feel HAPPY, and have all of my employees walk in to work and feel HAPPY. Happy, safe, comfortable, and at home, at least for the majority of the time.
Next year will my 20th high school reunion. Yes, 20. It almost makes me blanch to write that. I loathed high school. Truly. I hated the cliques, the drama, the monotony. But after 20 years, I am curious to see all of my former classmates. I have reconnected with many of them on Facebook (of course…the great Equalizer), and it’s amazing that most of us have kids, families, careers. I look at these people and remember them at parties, or smoking in the bathroom, or cutting class (wait, that might have been me). You can remember those who picked on you and you picked on. The hurtful words that were said 20 years ago can still usually be recited, verbatim. And isn’t high school a little like a primer for real life? Don’t we all get to try on our grown up selves first during those brutal four years?
I guess what I am trying to say, in a weird, rambling, only had 4 hours of sleep because Stella has pinkeye and Dino was up all night being fussy sort of way is: It’s so much NICER to be a nice girl. So much nicer to complement than criticize, to build each other up than to tear each other down, to smile instead of roll our eyes. I mean, aren’t most women essentially the same? Don’t we all want to sit with the cool kids at school? Don’t we all want to fit in and belong, and be a part of the private joke?
I’d like to close with a fitting quote by Lindsey Lohan’s character about head Mean Girl Regina George. Put aside for a moment that I am a 37 year old mother of two who is quoting a Lindsey Lohan movie, please. It’s still a good movie, thank you very much, and a good quote!
Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
You said it, Lindsey. Now behave yourself.